Caitlin Runs a Half Marathon

This past month has been a blur. Spring and this semester of school are coming to an end. I’ve been doing lots of studying for finals and last minute projects, as well as trying to find time to take care of myself.

I’ve found it hard to stay motivated with everything going on, so I decided to take part in a 35 day free workout challenge by Chloe Ting. I’m only on day 14, but have already noticed significant positive changes in my mood, self-confidence, body image, and motivation. I think it’s beneficial for me to have a more concrete schedule to follow so I stay motivated and maintain a more healthy lifestyle.

I’ve also been doing daily knee strengthening exercises and am happy to report that I am now pain free! I hope that I will be able to get back into running soon (most likely after finals when I am not super stressed).

I have good news for the half marathon next year. I talked to my dad about it, and he said that he’d run it with me! He’s also never ran a half marathon and thought it would be cool if we did it together. So that is something nice that came out of a bad situation.

Wow, these past few months have definitely not gone according to plan. I had no idea that there was going to be a worldwide pandemic with no cure, easily spreading, resulting in everyone having to stay home—and I’m sure no one else saw it coming either.

As a result of the pandemic, The Salt Lake City Half Marathon, which I was planning to run on April 18th, was cancelled. I was given two options: run a virtual race by myself or defer the race to next year. I decided to defer the race to next year. The reason for this decision is partly because I want to run my first half marathon with other people. I want to be a part of the race atmosphere, rather than running the distance alone.

I also have been experiencing pretty bad knee pain, and I don’t want to push myself to complete something that might leave me injured for the long term. My overall health is more important to me than finishing a race on the date I originally planned. But you better believe that I am going to be running it next year!

Although everything that’s been happening has been concerning, I feel fortunate that I have everything I need to live comfortably during this hard time. There are many people right now who are struggling to pay rent because they have been laid off from their jobs.

I hope that through social distancing and other measures the spread of the virus will slow and everyone will be able to get back to their normal routines—hopefully wiser from the experience.

I slip on my shoes, double knotting the laces; grab my GPS watch, securing it to my wrist; and step outside, ready for a great run.

It’s been about 4 and a half weeks since I started training for the SLC Half Marathon, and it’s been going good.

The reason I chose this race is because I liked the course, which starts at the Olympic Legacy Bridge, and finishes at 200 E between Library and Washington Square.

Though I will admit that training started out a little rough; I was only getting in two runs per week due to the hectic state of my life. But most recently, I have been running four days per week: three–seven miles each day.

As I’ve increased the amount of time I spend running, I’ve begun to notice slight changes in the way that I think about running.

In the past, I ran because I was good at it. I was told by coaches that I was “talented” and could go far in the running world. It became something that made me feel that I had value—that I mattered. I became obsessed with being the best and being fast and being on the varsity team.

However, eventually this attitude towards running caused me to feel apathetic.

I injured my foot my sophomore year, and I couldn’t cope with the fact that I could no longer keep up. So I quit.

I played soccer instead my junior year (which was a bad experience but that’s another story).

My senior year I decided to get back into running. But it just made me sad. I physically became sick EVERY TIME I ran. I was no longer fast. I didn’t understand the point of why I was doing this if I wasn’t consistently running in varsity races every week.

Overall, my senior year of cross country was miserable, both mentally and physically. And obviously it wasn’t running that was the source of all my woes. I was overwhelmed with college level classes and work. Running just made everything feel even more unmanageable.

After I graduated high school I quit running for quite a while. I think it was more than a year. I occasionally had the urge to run, but I was just never motivated enough to do it.

One day I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, and I saw a post about running a long distance relay race—The Salt Lake City Ragnar Sunset Relay. I thought to myself, “This is the perfect opportunity to get back into running!”

I was still getting physically sick every time I ran, but it was a good experience running with a group. It also motivated me to do more.

This is where we skip to the present day. Lately running has felt much different for me than it has in the past. Instead of dreading going on runs, I feel excited. On days when it’s cold, I listen to my favorite songs from musicals and run on the treadmill. One of my favorites being “Say My Name” from Beetlejuice the Musical. And on days when it’s nice out, I run outside and enjoy the scenery.

I have stopped feeling physically sick every time I run—which is absolutely amazing. I’m not positive of the exact reason why, but I think it has to do with the shift in the way I think about running. It is no longer a competition. I don’t have the pressure to perform or be a certain way. It can just be me, running because I feel like it.

So what have I learned from this experience so far? Well, several things. I learned to better appreciate the beauty of running. It’s amazing to be able to slow down and appreciate the intricacies of the world. Yesterday on my run, I watched the sun set—with brilliant colors—over the mountains. It was breathtaking! (And I mean that both literally and figuratively as I was at about 6 miles at this point.)

I learned that running can be an activity that is similar to meditation, in that it allows you to practice awareness, and act as a stress reducer. Instead of being something that is dreaded, it can be an escape from the harshness and intensity of life. It does this for me.

Finally, I learned that I am not running for anyone but myself. This has helped me to realize that I actually really enjoy running when it is not in a super competitive, cutthroat environment. I like being more in tune with my body, and taking better care of myself. This is something that no one else can do for me.

Lately I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed with all my responsibilities. Sometimes it feels like I can’t keep going.

But then I see how I am progressing with my running, and I feel like I can push through. Running may be a brief escape in the moment, but the effects carry over into every aspect of life.

Life is hard, with or without running. That’s something I’ve found to be true.

And running won’t solve all your problems.

But starting to run can be the stepping stone that allows you to appreciate the little wins in life a little more: getting up that hill or going on a run despite being absolutely exhausted. And that’s what it’s about at the end of the day. The little wins.

For the past several years, I have struggled with eating healthy, practicing self-care, and exercising regularly. It is hard to balance the obstacles of life and everything in between and still take care of myself. For me the cycle of working out goes like this: I get motivated, start working out for a couple of months, then I slowly lose my motivation to continue, and eventually stop. It’s frustrating and tiring.

For that reason, I want to begin to develop beneficial habits that I can continue even when I am not motivated. I think that the first step toward achieving this is to set a goal of accomplishing something difficult; when things are presented this way they can act as a motivator. So I’ve decided that I am going to run a half marathon—for the first time.

The discipline it takes to run a half marathon, as well as the physical and mental strength poured into the training, will help me to form healthy habits in my day-to-day life. Self-care and healthy eating will become a priority, since it is extremely important to take care of your body while embarking on something like this.

My plan is to post weekly updates on how my training is going. I am also going to interview some of my friends who are experienced runners. They can give some valuable insight on what gear to get, what to eat, etc.

My hope is that my journey can help others to feel that they can do hard things too, if they set their mind to it.